val922's Diaryland Diary

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Yoi's Wedding Part 2 - The Ceremony

I must say the beauty of a Chinese wedding is stunning. While the ceremony itself was pretty standard the emphasis I�ve learned is placed on the proposal, banquet and afterward family rituals. Out of the 4, we were only present for 2, and I was overwhelmed. So let�s start with the invitation.

When I received this and opened it my immediate reaction was how much it looked like a menu. I have learned however that the invitation and envelope are printed on red paper because the Chinese culture believes red is the color for happiness. The large Chinese character on the front is known as Double Happiness and it has a story behind it:

In the ancient Tang Dynasty, there was a student who was on the way to the capital to attend the national final examination, in which the top learners would be selected as the ministers in the court. Unfortunately, he fell ill halfway when he passed through a mountain village. Thanks to a herbalist doctor and his daughter, he was taken to their house and treated well. He recovered quickly due to the father and the daughter's good care. Well, when he had to leave, he found it hard to say good-bye to the pretty girl, and so did she. They fell in love. So the girl wrote down the right hand part of an antithetical couplet for the student to match:

"Green trees against the sky in the spring rain while the sky set off the spring trees in the obscuration."

"Well, I can make it though it is not easy. But you'll have to wait till I have finished the examination." replied the student. The young girl nodded in significance.

In the examination the young man won the first place, who was appreciated by the emperor. Also the winners were interviewed and tested by the emperor. As luck would have it, he was asked by the emperor to finish a couplet, which would need a right part as the answer. The emperor wrote:

"Red flowers dot the land in the breeze's chase while the land colored up in red after the kiss."

The young man realized immediately the right part of the couplet by the girl was the perfect fit to the emperor's couplet, so he took the girl's part as the answer without hesitation. The emperor was delighted to see the matching half of his couplet was so talent and harmonious that he authorized the young man's identity as Minister in the court and allowed him to pay a visit to his hometown first before holding the post. The young man met the girl happily at home and told her the emperor's couplet. They soon got married. For the wedding, the couple DOUBLED the Chinese character, HAPPY, together, on a red piece of paper and put it on the wall to express the happiness for the two events. And from then on, it has been taken on and became a social custom.

The ceremony was held at Victoria College Chapel. Being that a college has many halls and rooms it is no small wonder that a medium sized group of us found ourselves hunting for the wedding. Our wanderings took us behind the Chapel kitchen, through a parking lot, down a flight of stairs, a ride up an elevator and around a corner. We all must have looked liked contestants in The Amazing Race.

To begin the parents of both were asked to give their blessing by lighting candles to represent their children. Then the Bridal party entered. The bride and groom bowed to each other, followed by the standard litany, given in both English and Chinese. Before the vows were taken and rings given the assemblage was asked if they pledged to be of assistance to the soon to be newlyweds before continuing. Unsure of how to respond most people muttered until the Pastor said, �that�s not good enough� (which garnered cheers) and made us repeat our consent with �We Will�. After lighting the unity candle and their presentment as man and wife the signing of the marriage license was performed by the happy couple and witnessed by both sets of parents.

In the receiving line I told Yoi,�You couldn�t have done better.� He smiled and jested,�Yeah, I really lucked out.� I have to say knowing what I do of Yoi neither of them settled. Yoi is quite dedicated to his family as I know that his sister, brother and parents reside with him in his home in Markham. Their marriage is a merging of to wonderful people and they will be very happy.

His mother was dressed in the most elegant looking Chinese evening gown I have ever seen and she looked positively timeless. I made sure to comment on her youthful appearance and was rewarded with humility and thanks.

When the photos began the very first picture that was taken was of the entire assemblage bridal party and guests alike. I love that not only did those in the bridal party matter to them but their friends as well.

Between the ceremony and the reception a rest period was provided for all, whereupon our little group decided to have lunch. During Lunch Jen tried to convince D and I that we should be the next to wed. I reminded her gently that D�s divorce wasn�t quite final and that getting married would have definite financial ramifications. On our way out of the restaurant I forgot the card on the table. When we returned for it 3 hours later it was long gone. No great loss it was only a card thank goodness, no money inside.

Stay tuned for Part 3 next post.

This happens almost every summer. The amount of entries I post dwindle to almost nothing because I have said all I really have to say by then but come fall so much has happened I can�t keep up. This story is a week old and it�s not finished and some other personal things happened on Friday. I�m back logged isn�t it wonderful!

6:12 p.m. - Sunday, Sept. 24, 2006

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