val922's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To Significant Two things of significance happened on Friday September 22nd. I know that I have mentioned that I am a widow. I know that I have mentioned that my husband was killed on duty while in the service of the US Navy. I don�t believe that I have ever gotten more detailed than that. By all accounts of those present I was told that while performing maintenance on an F-14 Fred was standing in the pilot�s seat facing the rear of the plane bent over putting in the drogue chute when the seat fired (ejected). It happened so fast that his co-worker in the co-pilot�s seat said he didn�t even know it had happened until the seat fell on him. At the time he was stationed at Oceana Naval base in Virginia Beach, Virginia. After his death, I received a copy of the JAG report. In it blame is pretty evenly distributed. For me it left no one really to blame for the loss of my husband. His sister wanted me to blame the Navy and I couldn�t do that because Fred knew what he was doing when he signed up � risks and all. His mother wanted me to blame the manufacturer of the ejection seat but I couldn�t do that either. I simply didn�t have the energy to fight for millions of dollars for many years I was to heart broken. In the end I blamed that plane. The F � 14 Tomcat. I couldn�t watch Top Gun to save my life or stand to see flight decks on aircraft carriers even if only momentarily. So what was so damnable significant on Friday? They retired that fucking plane at Oceana. I wept tears of joy as I watched on the news. I only wish I had known in advance so I could have been standing there. It wouldn�t even surprise me to learn it was done at the very squadron he was assigned to. They were known as �The Grim Reapers� ironic isn�t it? And secondly D was notified by his attorney that his divorce is finally final. He picked up the papers on Monday. Sounds simple enough but you can�t begin to imagine my elation or his. In an interesting turn of events I have now had a chance to think about what that means for D and me. Would you believe it after all my badgering to D about why he couldn�t even think about marrying me, my incessant beseeching request about whether or not he ever intended to propose to me and I am frightened now that he actually will. My stomach catches in my throat at the thought, the butterfly beneath my chest beats all hell to escape to Mexico and I break out in a cold sweat. It isn�t as if I don�t want to marry the man only that I am not where I want to be in my career. Some part of me knew I was safe and now I�m afraid to give him money (I�m the accountant in the relationship) and heaven forbid Christmas morning. He�s quite delighted by this and insists on ribbing and poking fun at me. 2:57 p.m. - Thursday, Sept. 28, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||